Freedom draft

Anna Holt
English 9
February 3rd, 2009
Mr. Salsich

Freedom and Imprisonment;
A Discussion


Freedom is magnificent. Independence and free will are glorious. It is these things which allow us to do as we please and be who we are, but with each positive comes an equal and tragically opposite effect. Captivation, imprisonment, and confinement take their toll on people around the world each and every day. However, is it at all possible to live as a prisoner and still be free? Perhaps it is, for freedom works in mysterious ways. It is one thing that can reach us in our darkest hours, releasing out minds from imprisonment in the most unlikely circumstances.

If I was ever to become a physical captive, I would hope to see things that would keep my mind off of the confinement, the loneliness, and the emotional darkness of imprisonment. I would hope to see one thing each day that would allow my thoughts to escape the confinement of my body, exploring the unknown canvas of my mind. I would hope for something that would bring back memories to dance across my thoughts, careless and free. (Tri-colon- I Would Hope) More than anything I'd want to see my best friends. I wouldn’t need to speak to them, for seeing them once a day would satisfy me. I would watch from my cell window as they laughed, happily and carelessly living their lives. Witnessing the utter freedom of the people I love would bring a smile to my face and independence to my mind. One can hold another as a physical slave, forcing them to do as they are commanded. They can bind another to a brick wall, capturing their helpless hands in shackles. An able man can steal one’s body, but there is no way to take a soul. As a captive, I would watch in inspired silence as my best friends lived their lives, and this sight alone would allow my heart and soul roam wild. My mind would fly free, soaring far beyond the boundaries (FAST) of my physical incapabilities.

As my inner-self continued to swerve in and out of infinite possibilities, I would look down at the world and realize, with utter amazement, that I was as free as a bird. Perhaps there is truth in the common cliché, for a bird is nothing at all if not free. They greet the day without a care and sing with all their might from dawn until dusk. They are physically free from the restraints we face as humans, able to fly over water and mountain. Mentally they are free as well, their lives lacking pressure and judgments. As Bob Marley sings about relaxation and freedom in his song, “Three Little Birds,” he seems to speak to the freedom of birds. They sit by his window “singing sweet songs of melodies pure and true,” sending him a message. The birds tell him to let go of his constraints and worries, for “every little thing is going to be alright.” Soaring, singing, seeing, I wish to be as free as the carefree birds outside of my window, inspiring others to live the beautiful and bright life that they do.

There are many types of freedom and imprisonment. We can be physically confined or emotional captives (FAST), or we can be flying above the boundaries that are given to us. The choice is ours. No matter what the situation, our hearts and our minds can remain free. They are our own. Despite the circumstances, the limitations, or the consequences (Tri-colon), forget imprisonment. Be free.

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Self Assessment-
To be honest, I do not think that this piece of writing represents my best work. I feel that it lacks elegance , and if I was to do it again I would try to add a more poetic touch. However, i do think that this essay is clear and to the point. There isn't a lot of ambiguity and it is easy for the reader to understand. I also like the last paragraph a lot because it carries a strong message that I truly believe in. One writing issue I'm still working on is maintaining smoothness while still making clear chunks and supporting details.
I would give myself a B on this essay