Caroline Burlingham
Mr. Salsich
English
February 3, 2009
Freedom Within Confinement:
An Essay on the Shakespearian Play The Tempest and How it Relates to Modern Life
Rarely does one find themselves comparing Shakespeare to Lynard Skynard, but while reading Shakespeare’s The Tempest, this is exactly what I found myself doing. In this play, there is talk of both confinement and freedom, and how they relate. According to Ferdinand, it is possible to be free while confined, as long as one is able to see love; and according to Prospero, one can become as free as the “mountain winds.” Now, I am able to see and understand the many connections between the legendary Shakespeare, the rock band Lynard Skynard, and my life.
For people like Ferdinand, the sensation of love helps him to escape his confined future in prison, but for me, all I need is my family and friends. If I were able to see just one thing everyday for the rest of my life, I would want to see all the people I have ever cared for. The brief moments spent with, or simply watching them, would be free. I would be out of this prison, free from suffering, free from lonesome, and free from hatred (TRICOLON). Ferdinand has recently lost everything and everyone he has ever known and cared for, but the sight of the beautiful Miranda makes him forget. I, like Ferdinand, do not need to interact with the people whom I love, but simply admire their freedom and bliss (FAST). I would do anything for my friends and family, which includes visiting a prison for the rest of my life, and I know they would do the same for me. Even now, out of jail, my life would be nothing without my friends and family, I cannot imagine a life without them.
In The Tempest, Prospero compares freedom to “mountain winds,” but when I think of freedom, one song in particular comes to mind, “Freebird” by Lynard Skynard. In my opinion, a bird is the definitive (FAST) symbol of freedom. Our own country is represented by an eagle. Birds are able to go wherever they please, all they do is spread their wings and fall. “I’m as free as a bird now, and this bird you can not change,” is a quote directly from the song that speaks of freedom and its power. This quote seems to say that once you have spread your wings, only you can change you mind. Whenever I see a bird in the sky, I cant help but to wonder what it would be like to fly so freely. Mountain winds and birds have a lot in common, they both can fly, soar, and are a symbol of freedom (PARALLELISM).
As Americans, we say that we are free people, but are we none of us are truly free. As humans, we are confined by laws, people, and what is considered to be “in”, but we shouldn’t have to worry about any of these things. People should learn to feel free as the wind and the birds that fly through it, and to pay attention to the small things that they see everyday. Both the band Lynard Skynard and Shakespeare knew that life was worth living, and that it shouldn’t be spent indoors or confined by the thoughts of others.
SELF-ASSESMENT
Issues I am continuing to work on:
Careless errors have never been a strong point for me. I just have trouble spotting things when I don’t know what to look for.
Strong points I see:
One thing in my essay I really like, is my fast words. I’m not sure why, but I really like the word “bliss”.
Going back I would fix…
If I could start my essay over, I would change my opening and closing paragraphs. For some reason, I don’t particularly like those paragraphs, but I don’t know how fix them.
The grade I would give myself:
B+
4 comments:
Caroline,
Your essay was very elegant, well written and very well organized. Again, I really like your example of chiasmus because it deffinetly enhanced your writing. Some things that you could work on would be:
1) It would be a good idea to revise your essay and read it through carefully to check all the grammar errors. For example:a bird it (it should be is) or seemes, Shakespire. But those are just careless errors so don't worry too much about them.
2)Also, I feel like throughout your essay, you were a little too vague especially in your first body paragraph. Maybe you could add some details about why your family and friends are so important to you and I think it would add some "gold" to your essay. Otherwise, great job Caroline! You are a great writer!
Love,
Julie
Hi Caroline-
Awesome opening paragraph! its clear and concise but still intiguing and interesting. Hahaha, It's funny how alike our essays are..I could really relate to everything you were saying. The whole essay was poetic and as usual, organized. I was very impressed :]
If i was you, i would think about changing the last paragraph a bit. I dont really think that the america analogy fits in correctly, though its a nice thought. Also, the word "sore" should be "soar" n the context that you use.
Great essay, i loved reading it and it, as always, was beautifully written.
love, anna
I really liked your opening paragraph, I thought that it was very interesting, and thought out. I also noticed how your sentences varied in length. Watch careless mistakes. Great Essay!!!!!!
Caroline,
Your essay was very expressive, and carefully worded. I loved your fast words, especially "bliss". VERY NICE WORK!
Sincerely,
Julia
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