Caroline's final essay post

Caroline Burlingham
H. Salsich
English
December 12, 2008

Describe your family and the role you play in it...
An essay on my family as a whole

1) My life is like an unfinished play. 2) Each person plays a role, has a character, and knows their part. 3) This play is completely ad hoc (FAST) which creates a past, present, and future. 4) Everyone can change who they are and the role they play at any time, which creates the story.

TS My family consists of many different and similar characters. SD First there are the parents who protect and care for the others. CM They create the options, heal the sick, enlighten the minors, and help the seniors. CM These two people are the ones that stick by you through the thick and the thin just because they care for you. SD Secondly, the younger and slightly annoying brother. CM He plays a role of constant change. CM One minute he will be happy, joyous, and amusing, the next fastidious (FAST) and unpleasant; but again, sticks with you until the end. SD Although my friends are not related to me, they are considered part of the family. CM They all know exactly what, how, and why I do the things I do. CM They are all there for me and know how to make me smile. CS The people that surround me everyday are the ones who shape my character into what it is now.

TS The true question isn’t about my family or the themes of this life long play, but who I am as a character, as a person, and as a part of this family. SD Academically, I am the honors student. CM I walk into class, laughing with my friends, and get right to work (S-V split participles). CM I study hard, take my time and I am not afraid of asking questions. SD At home, I am the oldest child. CM My parents trust and respect me, and I am considered the “responsible mature one.” CM My family is very close, we all seem to understand, respect, and listen to each other. SD Personally, I am Caroline Alden Burlingham. CM I am on the GIVE committee because I believe that the gift of giving is more important and rewarding than simply giving a gift (chiasmus). CM I am also in a singing group, play three seasons of sports, perform in the school musical, and have traveled all over the world. CS My character may have a quiet and shy outside, but once you break into the inner layers, I am a completely different person.

1) The role that I play has many different sides to it. 2) I am the big sister, the oldest child, the best friend, the honors student, and the Co-President of the GIVE committee. 3) My life truly is an unfinished script, and I just play the character named Caroline. 4) “All the worlds a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

************************************************************************
SELF ASSESMENT
1) Problems I am continuing to have are spelling and missing careless errors. I re-read my essays several times, but I just seem to miss them. I don’t even notice if something is spelled wrong because that is how I would think it is spelled.
2) I really enjoyed my topic paragraph. I like how I related it to a play. I also had the quote at the end to relate back to the opening.
3) I don’t think I used the S-V split correctly. I don’t really understand what it is. I just looked at the examples and tried to follow them.
4) If I re-wrote this essay, I would try to relate the body paragraphs to the topic more. I think I got off track with the idea of a play. It may confuse some people.
5) I would give myself an A-