Julie's Essay

Julie Philippe
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
English 9
30 April 2009

Kindness:
An Essay Based on a Poem, a Short Story, and my Life

1) It is with kindness that we hold open a door for a stranger, that we sit by a friend and wipe tears off of their faces, that we drop a coin into a poor man’s hand, and it is with kindness that we smile to make one’s day (Loose sentence). 2) Most importantly, it is compassion and sympathy that we need to live a happy life. 3) It is with kindness that we are able to journey through our sorrow courageously. 4) Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem “Kindness”, F. Scott’s Fitzgerald’s “Winter Dreams”, and my life all portray the importance of kindness that we give and receive.

TS In Naomi Shihab Nye’s “Kindness”, she speaks of the need to suffer to be able to fully appreciate “what kindness really is”. SD There is only a certain amount of pain and sorrow a soul can take. CM A heart is full of layers and perhaps, under that layer of sorrow, sits a layer of kindness. CM Once the layer of pain has “dissolve[d]”, all there is left to experience is kindness. SD Perhaps, this poem reflects the power of living life with great courage. CM After one sees “how desolate the landscape must be”, but has the courage to move on, only then can they be rewarded with kindness. CM Perchance, the courage it takes to overcome sorrow is the true gift of kindness. CS Perhaps, only after having experienced “the tender gravity of kindness”, one can courageously “raise its head from the crowd of the world” and live life with jubilation (FAST).

TS Similarly to Naomi Shihab Nye’s poem, F. Scott Fitzgerald was able to convey the impact of sorrow and kindness on Dexter’s life in “Winter Dreams”. SD Dexter Green, a “willing, intelligent, quiet, and honest” man experiences pain when the love of his life, Judy Jones, leaves him unexpectedly (Tetracolon). CM As hard as it might have been for Dexter, he moved on, with great courage and dignity. CM Perhaps, Dexter’s sorrow was meant to hurt so badly that he “taste[d] the deep pain that is reserved only for the strong”. SD After peeling off that layer of suffering, kindness was all he had left to give. CM He had overcome his sorrow, with shattered “winter dreams” and “closed gates”, but kindness was there to “tie [his] shoes” (Appositive). CM He could once again, enjoy “a certain tranquility of spirits” with his new wife, Irene. CS Perhaps Judy had been “the simple breath that kept him alive”, but now he knows, what kindness really means.

TS As much as the poem and the story relate to each other, kindness and sorrow have also played a big role in my life. SD Like Dexter Green, a relative of mine left me, unexpectedly, for what it seems, like all the wrong reasons. CM As perfidious (FAST) as it felt, I had no choice, but to “see the size of the cloth”, “feel the future dissolve in the moment”, and realize that sorrow must take place to be able to experience the true meaning of kindness (Loose sentence). CM Having gone through a tough time dealing with his absence, I learned that kindness is the most precious action that one can give and receive. SD Similarly to my life, Dexter Green missed Judy’s kindness and love, therefore, his sorrow only left him with tenderness to “give back”. CM I missed the kindness he had once given me, that consisted of hugs and smiles and a big heart. CM The vacancy of his sympathy led me to realize how significant compassion was to one’s soul and how much I needed it. CS One day, I woke up with a deserted heart, and “it [was] only kindness that [made] sense anymore”.

1) Perhaps, humans need compassion (FAST) to fill the hole of a empty heart. 2) However, we must first experience the feeling of an abandoned soul, to be kind to others. 3) To be able to enjoy the “glittering things themselves”, one must first “wake up with sorrow”. 4) After all, maybe kindness must be deserved to show its true meaning.

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Self Assessment:

1). I am continuing to work on deleting unnecessary words that worsen the writing, rather than enhancing it.

2) Some strong points I see in this piece of writing were my transitions from sentences to sentences and paragraphs to paragraphs. I also worked hard on trying to make this essay flow without any confusion within the paragraphs.

3) Some weak points I see are perhaps, my use of the special tools that I didn't use as well as I should have. Also, once again, ommiting those unecessary words.

4). The grade I would give myself would be: A-