Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Julie's Essay

Julie Philippe
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
English 9
February 18th, 2009

Confined in Music
- A Discussion Based On A Passage From The Tempest And My Life

1) Caliban, a rejected monster-like creature confined on the island, enjoys nothing but music to escape from his solitude. (Appositive noun phrase) 2) The calming sounds of the island lets him forget about the horrible life he is forced to live. 3) In my life, music gives me a chance to escape from the reality and enter a bubble full of dreams. 4) Music calms me down and consoles me when everything goes wrong.


TS In Shakespeare’s The Tempest, Caliban appreciates the “sounds and sweet airs” that circle throughout this island “full of noises”. SD In this passage, what seemed like a cold hearted monster-like creature now becomes a person with emotions and feelings. CM His passion for the “sounds and sweet airs” of this island is what makes Caliban live. CM Music makes him dream (Short sentence). SD Caliban speaks of “the clouds methought would open and show riches/ ready to drop upon me that, when I waked, / I cried to dream again. CM His love for the gentle tunes of the songs lets him dream about endless amounts of money falling on him. CM These dreams are so marvelous, that when he wakes up, he would cry to dream once again. SD The “thousand twangling instruments” drone in his ear and played in his mind. CM These beautiful voices and sounds “that give delight”, never cease to amaze Caliban. CM After waking up from a long interlude, the soothing songs and voices make him fall right back to sleep. CS Caliban is blissfully confined by the beauty of “sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not”.


TS To me, music locks me up in a bubble of freedom. SD When I listen to the calming tune of a song, all I feel are the countless beats of my heart. CM My mind is free of any problems, any fear, any emotions. CM Everything feels so far away from “sweet airs” that are played in my ear. SD Like Caliban, music takes me in a world of dreams, in a world of complete freedom. CM Music takes me beyond the sky high buildings of Tokyo, beyond the many deserts of Africa, and beyond the endless mountains of Switzerland (parallel prepositional phrases). CM Music makes me disappear. SD For the three minutes of a song, I feel happily confined in my bubble. CM It almost seem as if the notes of the song protect me from the outside world. CM For three minutes, freedom takes over my world. CS Music brings peace to my mind and happiness to my soul.


1) Both Caliban and I rely on music to help us escape the unfair parts of life. 2) Though Caliban is known as a dark and powerless creature, he shows his good side by showing his passion for music, as it keeps him from loneliness (Compound-complex sentence). 3) I believe that music has the power to bring out the good in a person, such as Caliban. 4) Music has the aptitude to let someone fly away into a world of freedom and dreams.

1 comment:

Anna said...

Dear Julie-
Wow! I loved this piece of writing, and I think it is one of the best essays you've written all year. It was so elegant and descriptive, yet still very very clear and organized. I especially thought this of the opening and closing paragraphs, which did a good job of summarizing your points clearly, but in a beatiful way.
I noticed a couple of (very minor) things I might think about doing if I was you. First, I think you should do some editing near the bottom of the first body paragraph. I noticed a couple of grammatical issues and also the typo, "moony."
Another thing I would try to do is touch a little more on the "confinement" of being in a world of music. Make sure to make it clear that Caliban does not feel trapped by the music.
Overall, I realy thought this was a beautiful essay! nicely done Julie, I can't wait to read the next one!
xxxooo love, anna