Anna Holt
English 9
Mr. Salsich
June 4th, 2009
Possibility:
An Esaay
One evening, wedged like a stopper between two days, step outside. Lie back on the dirty sidewalk outside your apartment or on the grass of your manicured lawn. Look up. You will see the sky, vast and unknown, and within the twinkling stars above, you will see possibility. You will feel the obsessive thoughts of what must be, of what will be, the solidity of the future, fade. (Parallelism- “you will) Like poets William Stafford, William Wordsworth and Emily Dickinson, you will see life as the limitless phenomenon that it truly is. Take a moment, one day, to lie back and look up, to witness with your own two eyes the beautiful infinity of what could be.
As William Stafford states, “It could happen any time.” He leaves it up to the reader to define precisely what “it” is, and perhaps that is what makes his words so truly brilliant. “It” is our greatest desire, our truest love, our deepest fear, our best friend. (Tetra colon) It is “tornado, earthquake, Armageddon, (…) or sunshine, love, salvation.” Mr. Stafford’s message is that life will defy probability, and that tomorrow is as unknown as the grand abyss of the sky above. With your next breath, “it could happen,” whatever “it” may be. There are “no guarantees in this life,” no promises of what tomorrow will bring. Life is possibility.
Another poet, Emily Dickinson, seems to agree with Mr. Stafford’s way of thinking. Looking at a collection of her work, one will notice that she often refers to the theme of opportunity and the unknown prospect of the future. She “dwell[s] in possibility.” She seems to say that living this way is better, that it is “more numerous of Windows--Superior--for Doors.” Those who are able to look at life with an unsure opinion about what is to come will see happiness, opportunities. She lives in questions. “Will there really be a ‘Morning’?Is there such a thing as ‘Day?’” she asks. Ms. Dickinson questions even the most fundamental guarantees of life, challenging the things most fail to consider. She “dwell[s] in possibility.”
A third poet who has lived this way is William Wordsworth. While he does not write directly about the uncertainty of what tomorrow will bring, his works show that his beliefs are in tune with those of Stafford and Dickinson. In his poem “Tintern Abbey,” Wordsworth discusses a place he once loved, and seems to imply that it is a place he will continue to return to in his mind as his life progresses. He does not specify what is before him, for his path is unknown. His works, like Dickinson’s, also challenge fundamental things that most of us see as concrete. His poem “The World Is Too Much with Us,” for example, speaks about his somewhat extravagant wishes for a world in which human interference is absent from nature. He wishes to “have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.” In an indirect and casual manner, Wordsworth lives the life that Stafford and Dickinson speak of.
Perhaps there are probabilities in life. Statistics will show that the sun will probably rise again tomorrow, that your life will probably progress along a predictable path. You will probably die someday, you will probably not achieve your wildest dreams in one lifetime. However, tomorrow is yet to come. Life is like the sky above, the twinkling moon, the untouchable stars. Do not forget that your life begins anew each day. Do dwell in possibility; It could happen.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Anna Holt
9 English
Mr. Salsich
May 28th, 2009
Remembrance:
A Reflection On The Past
It is of the utmost (FAST) importance, time. It captures our senses, pulling us into a moment so dear, we forget its presence. For a moment, time is irrelevant, nonexistent, even. One day, far in the future for most, we will gaze back upon these moments in quiet sentiment, remembering our lives in a haze of faded memory. However, there are constants in the world that are able to bring back the past as if it were the present. Something static, an overgrown cathedral perhaps, will remind us of what used to be. We will recognize the people we once were, and we will be introduced to those we have become.
In his poem Tintern Abbey, William Wordsworth remembers a time in which he "[saw] into the life of things." Sitting with his sister at his side, Wordsworth reflects on Tintern Abbey and on the boy he used to be, prancing merrily through Tintern's lovely vines. He looks back upon his younger years with serenity and care, mesmerized by the happiness that was once his. The "sylvan Wye [and the...] sounding cataract" represent a beautiful and carefree ghost of his past. However, as he gazes down onto the Abbey, he "cannot paint/ what then [he] was." His childhood is time passed, the boy he once was lost in a whirl of growth and development. Tintern is his stable reminder of who he once was, his point of reference as he discovers how much has changed since boyhood. He remembers his childhood wanderings to find "that time is past, and all its aching joys are now no more."
I have no doubt that in five years, Pine Point will be my Tintern. I will return here and remember the "dizzy rapture" of my own adolescence, the dull thud of a lacrosse ball as it hits the wall, the sharp crinkling of newly printed handouts, the contented sounds of laughter that dwell in these hallways like an ever present shadow. (Loose Sentence) I will reflect in silence as I walk these pathways, a woman by then. The misplaced memories will return to me, no longer distant. I will be introduced to the person I will have become. My dear Pine Point will force me to take a final look at the person I once was and say farewell to that young girl, recognizing that while the past can be captured in a place that will not change, we are never the same. Like Wordsworth, I will look back with a smile, happily recalling a place I once called home. This school will be my Tintern, my reminder of polo shirts and khaki pants, and my sole representation of who I am today. (Parallelism "my")
This evening, as is true with every evening, the sun will set. We will go to sleep, and we will awake with new ideas and fresh perspectives. Tomorrow when we rise, we will be altered slightly. Our days will consume us, and we will allow ourselves to forget that time exists at all. However one day, we will awake to find that our alterations are no longer slight. We will dig into our souls and see every part of the people we have become, and, with a reminiscent tear one sweet smile, wave a bittersweet goodbye to what once was. Tomorrow, I know, is another day.
9 English
Mr. Salsich
May 28th, 2009
Remembrance:
A Reflection On The Past
It is of the utmost (FAST) importance, time. It captures our senses, pulling us into a moment so dear, we forget its presence. For a moment, time is irrelevant, nonexistent, even. One day, far in the future for most, we will gaze back upon these moments in quiet sentiment, remembering our lives in a haze of faded memory. However, there are constants in the world that are able to bring back the past as if it were the present. Something static, an overgrown cathedral perhaps, will remind us of what used to be. We will recognize the people we once were, and we will be introduced to those we have become.
In his poem Tintern Abbey, William Wordsworth remembers a time in which he "[saw] into the life of things." Sitting with his sister at his side, Wordsworth reflects on Tintern Abbey and on the boy he used to be, prancing merrily through Tintern's lovely vines. He looks back upon his younger years with serenity and care, mesmerized by the happiness that was once his. The "sylvan Wye [and the...] sounding cataract" represent a beautiful and carefree ghost of his past. However, as he gazes down onto the Abbey, he "cannot paint/ what then [he] was." His childhood is time passed, the boy he once was lost in a whirl of growth and development. Tintern is his stable reminder of who he once was, his point of reference as he discovers how much has changed since boyhood. He remembers his childhood wanderings to find "that time is past, and all its aching joys are now no more."
I have no doubt that in five years, Pine Point will be my Tintern. I will return here and remember the "dizzy rapture" of my own adolescence, the dull thud of a lacrosse ball as it hits the wall, the sharp crinkling of newly printed handouts, the contented sounds of laughter that dwell in these hallways like an ever present shadow. (Loose Sentence) I will reflect in silence as I walk these pathways, a woman by then. The misplaced memories will return to me, no longer distant. I will be introduced to the person I will have become. My dear Pine Point will force me to take a final look at the person I once was and say farewell to that young girl, recognizing that while the past can be captured in a place that will not change, we are never the same. Like Wordsworth, I will look back with a smile, happily recalling a place I once called home. This school will be my Tintern, my reminder of polo shirts and khaki pants, and my sole representation of who I am today. (Parallelism "my")
This evening, as is true with every evening, the sun will set. We will go to sleep, and we will awake with new ideas and fresh perspectives. Tomorrow when we rise, we will be altered slightly. Our days will consume us, and we will allow ourselves to forget that time exists at all. However one day, we will awake to find that our alterations are no longer slight. We will dig into our souls and see every part of the people we have become, and, with a reminiscent tear one sweet smile, wave a bittersweet goodbye to what once was. Tomorrow, I know, is another day.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Julie's Essay
Julie Philippe
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
English 9
26 May 2009
Tranquility:
An Essay Based on William Wordsworth’s “Tintern Abbey”
As children, we play, we discover, we observe, we learn, but most importantly, we change (Parallelism). For Williams Wordsworth, a simple passion for nature, the tranquility of a mountainous landscape, and the attachement to the abandoned church he never forgot, changed the way he looked at life. For me, an unexceptional, yet tranquil classroom has helped me mature. Whatever changes we may go through, whether it is in “the deep and gloomy wood[s]” or a placid English classroom, a place never changes, it just waits.
TS In William Wordsworth “Tintern Abbey”, Wordsworth speaks of the peace and the tranquility that this church still holds after “five years have past”. SD The beauty of the “secluded scene” is nothing but relaxing to the mind of Wordsworth, as he looks around to appreciate the “soft inland murmur” and the “quiet of the sky”. CM Perhaps it is with the soft voices of nature that he is able to feel passion for this ruined, desolate (FAST) church. CM It is with simple love for “quietness and beauty” that he is able to reflect on his past through the church’s abandoned walls. SD After “five summers, with the length of five long winters”, Wordsworth was not the little boy running through the woods picking flowers anymore, he had become a grown man. CM Though he changed, the place where the “dark sycamore” laid stayed the same, surrounded by the same mountains and embellished by the same silence “from among the trees” and enclosed in the same sweet smell of the “orchard tufts” (Polysyndeton). CM Perhaps, Wordsworth found himself in the peacefulness and calmness of the woods, it is what shaped him. CS It is with the peacefulness of the “deep rivers” that he was able to finally hear “the beatings of [his] heart”.
SD In five years, I want to come back to Pine Point and sit in the brown plastic chair in Mr. Salsich’s English Class. SD The English classroom is not just an ordinary classroom filled with posters and silly pictures of the day, but rather a vast cloud of peace, filled with “pleasing thoughts” and limitless “harmonies”. CM It is in this classroom, that one is able to express themselves through the “motions and spirits” of reading and writing. CM Similarly to “the light of setting suns”, English class gives life to all pensive (FAST) minds. SD Perhaps, the first day we walked into the English class, we were still little boys and girls wanting to dance around all day long, but in this classroom, we have grown. CM We have changed, however, the classroom stayed the same, filled with the same calmness that we are now able to appreciate and the same silence that took us on our blossoming journey. CM Perhaps, this classroom has become “the anchor of [our] purest thought[s], the nurse, the guide, the guardian of [our] hearts, and soul” of a tranquil piece of our day.
We should not judge a church by its ruins or a person by their flaws or a room by its appearance. The tranquility of what once seemed like a dull looking English classroom, permitted our ideas to flow like the water “rolling from [the] mountain-springs” of Tintern Abbey. Perhaps, when we let go of a special place, we are able to better appreciate it. The memories are “more dear” to our hearts.
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
English 9
26 May 2009
Tranquility:
An Essay Based on William Wordsworth’s “Tintern Abbey”
As children, we play, we discover, we observe, we learn, but most importantly, we change (Parallelism). For Williams Wordsworth, a simple passion for nature, the tranquility of a mountainous landscape, and the attachement to the abandoned church he never forgot, changed the way he looked at life. For me, an unexceptional, yet tranquil classroom has helped me mature. Whatever changes we may go through, whether it is in “the deep and gloomy wood[s]” or a placid English classroom, a place never changes, it just waits.
TS In William Wordsworth “Tintern Abbey”, Wordsworth speaks of the peace and the tranquility that this church still holds after “five years have past”. SD The beauty of the “secluded scene” is nothing but relaxing to the mind of Wordsworth, as he looks around to appreciate the “soft inland murmur” and the “quiet of the sky”. CM Perhaps it is with the soft voices of nature that he is able to feel passion for this ruined, desolate (FAST) church. CM It is with simple love for “quietness and beauty” that he is able to reflect on his past through the church’s abandoned walls. SD After “five summers, with the length of five long winters”, Wordsworth was not the little boy running through the woods picking flowers anymore, he had become a grown man. CM Though he changed, the place where the “dark sycamore” laid stayed the same, surrounded by the same mountains and embellished by the same silence “from among the trees” and enclosed in the same sweet smell of the “orchard tufts” (Polysyndeton). CM Perhaps, Wordsworth found himself in the peacefulness and calmness of the woods, it is what shaped him. CS It is with the peacefulness of the “deep rivers” that he was able to finally hear “the beatings of [his] heart”.
SD In five years, I want to come back to Pine Point and sit in the brown plastic chair in Mr. Salsich’s English Class. SD The English classroom is not just an ordinary classroom filled with posters and silly pictures of the day, but rather a vast cloud of peace, filled with “pleasing thoughts” and limitless “harmonies”. CM It is in this classroom, that one is able to express themselves through the “motions and spirits” of reading and writing. CM Similarly to “the light of setting suns”, English class gives life to all pensive (FAST) minds. SD Perhaps, the first day we walked into the English class, we were still little boys and girls wanting to dance around all day long, but in this classroom, we have grown. CM We have changed, however, the classroom stayed the same, filled with the same calmness that we are now able to appreciate and the same silence that took us on our blossoming journey. CM Perhaps, this classroom has become “the anchor of [our] purest thought[s], the nurse, the guide, the guardian of [our] hearts, and soul” of a tranquil piece of our day.
We should not judge a church by its ruins or a person by their flaws or a room by its appearance. The tranquility of what once seemed like a dull looking English classroom, permitted our ideas to flow like the water “rolling from [the] mountain-springs” of Tintern Abbey. Perhaps, when we let go of a special place, we are able to better appreciate it. The memories are “more dear” to our hearts.
Caroline's
Caroline Burlingham
Mr. H. Salsich
Honors English
May 26, 2009
In Wordsworth’s poem, “Composed a few Miles Above Tintern Abbey, on Revisiting the Banks of the Wye During a Tour, July 13, 1798,” he not only writes how the church used to make him feel, but how the rediscovery of this sacred place moved him. He seems to feel as if life and time has blinded him from the thing he cared most for, “Through a long absence, have not been to me as is a landscape to a blind man’s eye.” He most likely wanted to remember this place forever and think back to it in times of trouble, but soon enough he had forgotten about the “waters, rolling from their mountain-springs with a soft inland murmur,” and the, “steep and lofty cliffs.” The remembrance of a place so sacred and life-changing must have come back with an epiphany (Fast). Now, after his return, he recalls all the sights, smells, and sounds he once swore never to forget. He remembers the “feelings too of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps, as have no slight or trivial influence on that best portion of a good man’s life, his little, nameless, unremembered, acts of kindness and of love.” He never truly forgot Tintern Abbey, but the feeling of forgetting brought him back to the place where his live began. Though he broke a self promise and forgot the most important aspects of his early life, he was able to go back in time and make up for is losses.
“The Writer,” a poem written by Richard Wilbur shares these same values and themes. Wilbur remembers a time when a bird was trapped in the house, and though it was, “humped and bloody,” it refused to give up the freedom is deserved. Though it doesn’t seem like much, this bird helped shape his life. One day, he heard his daughter typing on a typewriter, and each click reminded him of the sound the bird made as if fell to the ground. Each pause his daughter made, reminded him of each moment he doubted the birds bravery and courage. He didn’t know it, but this bird taught him about life. It showed him that, “it is always a matter [ ] of life or death, as [he] had forgotten.” When you give up hope, your life is over, but when you are able to fly through that window, despite the pain and suffering, you are free and “clearing the sill of the world.” Though Wilbur did not return to a place where he grew up, he went back to a time that changed his life; a time he had forgotten. In Wilbur’s eyes, the, “iridescent creature” is his Tintern Abbey, his start, and his memory.
When, “five years have past; five summers, with the length of five long winters,” I will return to my school, my home, Pine Point. When I return, like Wordsworth, I will have expectations that may or may not be accurate. When I walk through the front doors, I will look to see if Mr. Salsich is singing or putting on a puppet show, if Ms. Roper is attempting to pull a Greek play together, and if Mrs. Owen is in her room figuring out how to clean the filter on her projector; but this is what I want to see, not what I will see. Like Wordsworth, I want nothing more than to return to my childhood unchanged, but that isn’t up to me. I have been at Pine Point for twelve years, and I can honestly say that it is not the same school it was ten years ago. There isn’t a Big Toy anymore, or a preschool building, or disheveled (Fast) library, but an Eiffel Tower, an ECC building, and a computer lab full of Smart boards and Macs. One lesson I have learned over the past twelve years is to keep moving forward and don’t let anything hold you back, this being said, Pine Point will continue to grow and change. Despite change, I will walk through those doors and remember what used to be, smile, and catch up with my old teachers because that one aspect of Pine Point will never change. It is my home.
I’m sure that I will forget about school, homework, and teachers during the summer, for I want nothing more than to leave the stress behind. On the other hand, I know that I will think of Pine Point, its teachers, and its students more than ever on my first day at Middlesex. Like Wordsworth and Wilbur, it’s the things that shape us into who we are, that we promise to remember, but they are also the things we are most likely to disregard and forget. It isn’t until we find ourselves in need that we bring out these old yet intelligible memories and look back to them for help, which we realize we’ve forgotten. “In after years, when these wild ecstasies shall be matured into a sober pleasure; when thy mind shall be a mansion for all lovely forms, they memory be as a dwelling-place for all sweet sounds and harmonies; oh! then, if solitude, or fear, or pain, or grief, should be thy portion, with what healing thoughts of tender joy wild thou remember me, and these my exhortations!”
Mr. H. Salsich
Honors English
May 26, 2009
Remember:
An Essay on the Theme of “Tintern Abbey,” a Poem by William Wordsworth, and my life
We say that we will never forget our first time at life. We say we’ll always remember our first crush, first day at school, first sleepover, and our first time home alone, but that’s not always true (Tetracolon Climax). More often than not, we hold on to these memories for so long that we forget to remember (Antithesis). When you grow up knowing something or some place and then forget it, seeing or hearing that one thing years later makes it more meaningful. I am sure that my reaction and feelings I will have after five years away from Pine Point will be almost identical to those that Wordsworth experienced when he returned to Tintern Abbey and when Wilbur remember where his life began.
An Essay on the Theme of “Tintern Abbey,” a Poem by William Wordsworth, and my life
We say that we will never forget our first time at life. We say we’ll always remember our first crush, first day at school, first sleepover, and our first time home alone, but that’s not always true (Tetracolon Climax). More often than not, we hold on to these memories for so long that we forget to remember (Antithesis). When you grow up knowing something or some place and then forget it, seeing or hearing that one thing years later makes it more meaningful. I am sure that my reaction and feelings I will have after five years away from Pine Point will be almost identical to those that Wordsworth experienced when he returned to Tintern Abbey and when Wilbur remember where his life began.
In Wordsworth’s poem, “Composed a few Miles Above Tintern Abbey, on Revisiting the Banks of the Wye During a Tour, July 13, 1798,” he not only writes how the church used to make him feel, but how the rediscovery of this sacred place moved him. He seems to feel as if life and time has blinded him from the thing he cared most for, “Through a long absence, have not been to me as is a landscape to a blind man’s eye.” He most likely wanted to remember this place forever and think back to it in times of trouble, but soon enough he had forgotten about the “waters, rolling from their mountain-springs with a soft inland murmur,” and the, “steep and lofty cliffs.” The remembrance of a place so sacred and life-changing must have come back with an epiphany (Fast). Now, after his return, he recalls all the sights, smells, and sounds he once swore never to forget. He remembers the “feelings too of unremembered pleasure: such, perhaps, as have no slight or trivial influence on that best portion of a good man’s life, his little, nameless, unremembered, acts of kindness and of love.” He never truly forgot Tintern Abbey, but the feeling of forgetting brought him back to the place where his live began. Though he broke a self promise and forgot the most important aspects of his early life, he was able to go back in time and make up for is losses.
“The Writer,” a poem written by Richard Wilbur shares these same values and themes. Wilbur remembers a time when a bird was trapped in the house, and though it was, “humped and bloody,” it refused to give up the freedom is deserved. Though it doesn’t seem like much, this bird helped shape his life. One day, he heard his daughter typing on a typewriter, and each click reminded him of the sound the bird made as if fell to the ground. Each pause his daughter made, reminded him of each moment he doubted the birds bravery and courage. He didn’t know it, but this bird taught him about life. It showed him that, “it is always a matter [ ] of life or death, as [he] had forgotten.” When you give up hope, your life is over, but when you are able to fly through that window, despite the pain and suffering, you are free and “clearing the sill of the world.” Though Wilbur did not return to a place where he grew up, he went back to a time that changed his life; a time he had forgotten. In Wilbur’s eyes, the, “iridescent creature” is his Tintern Abbey, his start, and his memory.
When, “five years have past; five summers, with the length of five long winters,” I will return to my school, my home, Pine Point. When I return, like Wordsworth, I will have expectations that may or may not be accurate. When I walk through the front doors, I will look to see if Mr. Salsich is singing or putting on a puppet show, if Ms. Roper is attempting to pull a Greek play together, and if Mrs. Owen is in her room figuring out how to clean the filter on her projector; but this is what I want to see, not what I will see. Like Wordsworth, I want nothing more than to return to my childhood unchanged, but that isn’t up to me. I have been at Pine Point for twelve years, and I can honestly say that it is not the same school it was ten years ago. There isn’t a Big Toy anymore, or a preschool building, or disheveled (Fast) library, but an Eiffel Tower, an ECC building, and a computer lab full of Smart boards and Macs. One lesson I have learned over the past twelve years is to keep moving forward and don’t let anything hold you back, this being said, Pine Point will continue to grow and change. Despite change, I will walk through those doors and remember what used to be, smile, and catch up with my old teachers because that one aspect of Pine Point will never change. It is my home.
I’m sure that I will forget about school, homework, and teachers during the summer, for I want nothing more than to leave the stress behind. On the other hand, I know that I will think of Pine Point, its teachers, and its students more than ever on my first day at Middlesex. Like Wordsworth and Wilbur, it’s the things that shape us into who we are, that we promise to remember, but they are also the things we are most likely to disregard and forget. It isn’t until we find ourselves in need that we bring out these old yet intelligible memories and look back to them for help, which we realize we’ve forgotten. “In after years, when these wild ecstasies shall be matured into a sober pleasure; when thy mind shall be a mansion for all lovely forms, they memory be as a dwelling-place for all sweet sounds and harmonies; oh! then, if solitude, or fear, or pain, or grief, should be thy portion, with what healing thoughts of tender joy wild thou remember me, and these my exhortations!”
Self Assessment:
1) I am continuing to work on careless errors and making sure my sentences are smooth and make sense. I sometimes have a hard time finding these errors until it is too late.
2) I like my use of quotes. I think that I used a good amount but did not overdo it.
3) I am not sure if I followed our formula correctly. Sometimes I have a good point that takes more than just three sentences to explain.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
caroline's draft
Caroline Burlingham
H. Salsich
English
May 13, 2009
What If:
An Essay on a Passage by Rainer Maria Rilke and its Relations
Everyone who has lived has experienced loss in some form. Whether it’s the ice cream cone that fell in the sand, or a life, loss is loss. Rainer Maria Rilke, a famous German poet, knows loss. He writes about what he has lost, what he will loose, and how he is lost (Parallelism). He also writes about the saying, “What if.”
“If God had only made our hands to be like our eyes- so ready to grasp, so willing to relinquish all things- then we could truly acquire wealth,” states Rilke in the very first line of his passage. This sentence not only talks about loss, but about what could be gained if things would change. He seems to imply that our eyes are free unlike our hands, which tend to confine us. If we were able to use our hands in a similar way that we use our eyes, than we would not miss a thing. All the things we miss out on and can’t grasp, we lose. If we could hold those thoughts or sights, then they would be more than just a memory. They would be an experience, a journey, a reality, and more than just an image (tetracolon climax). Life is limited, maybe what we loose is obliging (FAST) to us in the long run.
Nothing is what it seems to be. Our hands are thought to be helpful and of great use, but they are really like “a coffin for us.” The same concept can apply to rock. Cold and unbending, it sits in the dirt unnoticed as anything other than a place to put your feet, but it’s much more than that (Appositive opener). It may be dull and boring, but the journey it has made is exciting (antithesis). This rock “out of whose depths their dearest secrets speak,” tells us an anecdote (Fast). Somehow, somewhere, it became a garden stone. Nothing is what it seems, but in order to discover the truth, you need to look with both free hands and eyes.
Rilke also states that, “Once out of our hands, however, things ought to move forward,” which is what I will be forced to do next year. I have been at Pine Point for twelve years, but now it is my time to go. On June 13, Pine Point will slip out of my hands and be replaced with a new school. Rilke would say that I should move on, but I am unsure if I will be able to. Pine Point is like my home, and the students are like my family, supportive and friendly (Appositive Closer). I have missed so much of this journey for the very reasons Rilke speaks of, I simply watched the twelve years pass by.
Loss is an uncanny (FAST) thing. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, for any reason without any warning (parallelism). Rilke lost his wealth, and I missed out on twelve years of my life. Now, looking back, I can’t help but wonder, “What if..?”
Self Assesment:
What I think are my strong points: I thought I made good use of the special tools in this essay. I was also able to add some extras for extra credit.
What I would change: I would have chosen to compair the passage to a story, not a rock. It would have been easier to write if I could have chosen the object or compairison.
A problem I am continuing to have: I think that I have troulble omiting unnecessary words. Both of my comments said I should look for some, but it is very difficult.
The grade I would give myself: A- or B+
H. Salsich
English
May 13, 2009
What If:
An Essay on a Passage by Rainer Maria Rilke and its Relations
Everyone who has lived has experienced loss in some form. Whether it’s the ice cream cone that fell in the sand, or a life, loss is loss. Rainer Maria Rilke, a famous German poet, knows loss. He writes about what he has lost, what he will loose, and how he is lost (Parallelism). He also writes about the saying, “What if.”
“If God had only made our hands to be like our eyes- so ready to grasp, so willing to relinquish all things- then we could truly acquire wealth,” states Rilke in the very first line of his passage. This sentence not only talks about loss, but about what could be gained if things would change. He seems to imply that our eyes are free unlike our hands, which tend to confine us. If we were able to use our hands in a similar way that we use our eyes, than we would not miss a thing. All the things we miss out on and can’t grasp, we lose. If we could hold those thoughts or sights, then they would be more than just a memory. They would be an experience, a journey, a reality, and more than just an image (tetracolon climax). Life is limited, maybe what we loose is obliging (FAST) to us in the long run.
Nothing is what it seems to be. Our hands are thought to be helpful and of great use, but they are really like “a coffin for us.” The same concept can apply to rock. Cold and unbending, it sits in the dirt unnoticed as anything other than a place to put your feet, but it’s much more than that (Appositive opener). It may be dull and boring, but the journey it has made is exciting (antithesis). This rock “out of whose depths their dearest secrets speak,” tells us an anecdote (Fast). Somehow, somewhere, it became a garden stone. Nothing is what it seems, but in order to discover the truth, you need to look with both free hands and eyes.
Rilke also states that, “Once out of our hands, however, things ought to move forward,” which is what I will be forced to do next year. I have been at Pine Point for twelve years, but now it is my time to go. On June 13, Pine Point will slip out of my hands and be replaced with a new school. Rilke would say that I should move on, but I am unsure if I will be able to. Pine Point is like my home, and the students are like my family, supportive and friendly (Appositive Closer). I have missed so much of this journey for the very reasons Rilke speaks of, I simply watched the twelve years pass by.
Loss is an uncanny (FAST) thing. It can happen to anyone, anywhere, for any reason without any warning (parallelism). Rilke lost his wealth, and I missed out on twelve years of my life. Now, looking back, I can’t help but wonder, “What if..?”
Self Assesment:
What I think are my strong points: I thought I made good use of the special tools in this essay. I was also able to add some extras for extra credit.
What I would change: I would have chosen to compair the passage to a story, not a rock. It would have been easier to write if I could have chosen the object or compairison.
A problem I am continuing to have: I think that I have troulble omiting unnecessary words. Both of my comments said I should look for some, but it is very difficult.
The grade I would give myself: A- or B+
Julie's Essay
Julie Philippe
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
English 9
19 May 2009
Transformation:
An Essay Based on a Passage from Rainer Maria Rilke
Our life is transformed by the things we observe, the things we appreciate, the things we experience, and the things we learn from (Appositive). Although our lives are changing every passing minute, we are all able to appreciate the smallest of moments. Through transformation, our past becomes a treasure, our present becomes a past, and our future becomes a choice. Rainer Maria Rilke, the garden stone, and my life all relate to the importance of changing the right way.
TS The power of transformation through living life to its fullest is conveyed through the words of Rainer Maria Rilke. SD A life is full of emotions and experiences that may seem pointless to appreciate. CM Perhaps, it is through the appreciation of small meaningless moments that we can be changed and permitted to fully become aware of the outside world. CM Watching a wave suddenly crash onto the beach, admiring the birds singing on a branch, and catching the snowflakes on a cold snowy day are significant moments that transform us (Participial phrase). SD Transformation only happens if a life is lived to its fullest potential in any kind of situation and for doing so, the significance of an experience becomes much more important. CM Even if a moment is not worth remembering, it can only “reveal [its] essence”, if it is lived with gratitude (FAST). CM Only then, can a person be transformed into someone more knowledgeable than before. SD Every moment lived in life becomes a past, more often than not, a past not understood and unclear. CM Perhaps living life to its fullest is wanting to understand the past with the ability to let go of the odd moments that life through at us. CM The past is what shapes our future as in “everything new the old is then whole” and much more luminous. CS We are able to be transformed with the knowledge of our past, the memories of a well-lived moment, and a life lived to its absolute fullest potential.
TS Much like Rilke’s words of wisdom, a small garden stone consists of a past, a history, a story, and a life to remember (Tetracolon climax). SD A garden stone may not seem important to our minds, but its simple appearance hides its untold past. CM A stone begins as a minuscule (FAST), useless piece of the earth, carefully shaped into a bigger and valuable treasure as time passes. CM Its past, carved into the grayness of its flat surface is forever present. SD Perhaps, a stone is like a human life, constantly changing with the experiences of the past and the questions of the future. CM It is with the unexpected events of life that the stone is able to take shape, yet still holding its past deep down under its first layer. CM After each day, a stone is still a stone, and a human life is still a life, “only different and vastly heightened”. CS A past stays the same, perhaps with unsolved mysteries, but it is the past that makes a stone whole and a human life undivided.
TS Similarly to Rilke’s passage and the garden stone, transformation has been a big part of my childhood and the way I have lived the past fourteen years of my life. SD Part of me regrets the small moments from my past that I have ignored and unpleasantly complained about. CM The missed opportunities of friendships, the lack of involvement in a group activity or even the ignorance of a small blue bird on its branch, are times that I wished I could have lived better. CM Perhaps, if I had shown “avid interest” in what seemed like the most insignificant moments of all, I would not have missed so much. SD However, as much regret as I hold for a childhood not lived to its fullest, I have learned the importance of the things I have missed. CM I have been transformed through my mistakes and lack of appreciation for life. CM I am now able to live the small moments, as if it was the last time I would ever be able to live, as if these moments would never “return”. CS Perhaps one is meant to be transformed through their mistakes rather than stay unchanged through superiority(Antithesis).
Life is just a matter of how one changes as time passes. It is up to us to decide how we want to live. After all, we only have one life, with one past and one future ahead of us. A stone is just a stone, a smile is just a smile, but what makes all the difference, is the content of the inside layer of that stone and the heartfelt message beneath those shining white teeth.
Mr. Hamilton Salsich
English 9
19 May 2009
Transformation:
An Essay Based on a Passage from Rainer Maria Rilke
Our life is transformed by the things we observe, the things we appreciate, the things we experience, and the things we learn from (Appositive). Although our lives are changing every passing minute, we are all able to appreciate the smallest of moments. Through transformation, our past becomes a treasure, our present becomes a past, and our future becomes a choice. Rainer Maria Rilke, the garden stone, and my life all relate to the importance of changing the right way.
TS The power of transformation through living life to its fullest is conveyed through the words of Rainer Maria Rilke. SD A life is full of emotions and experiences that may seem pointless to appreciate. CM Perhaps, it is through the appreciation of small meaningless moments that we can be changed and permitted to fully become aware of the outside world. CM Watching a wave suddenly crash onto the beach, admiring the birds singing on a branch, and catching the snowflakes on a cold snowy day are significant moments that transform us (Participial phrase). SD Transformation only happens if a life is lived to its fullest potential in any kind of situation and for doing so, the significance of an experience becomes much more important. CM Even if a moment is not worth remembering, it can only “reveal [its] essence”, if it is lived with gratitude (FAST). CM Only then, can a person be transformed into someone more knowledgeable than before. SD Every moment lived in life becomes a past, more often than not, a past not understood and unclear. CM Perhaps living life to its fullest is wanting to understand the past with the ability to let go of the odd moments that life through at us. CM The past is what shapes our future as in “everything new the old is then whole” and much more luminous. CS We are able to be transformed with the knowledge of our past, the memories of a well-lived moment, and a life lived to its absolute fullest potential.
TS Much like Rilke’s words of wisdom, a small garden stone consists of a past, a history, a story, and a life to remember (Tetracolon climax). SD A garden stone may not seem important to our minds, but its simple appearance hides its untold past. CM A stone begins as a minuscule (FAST), useless piece of the earth, carefully shaped into a bigger and valuable treasure as time passes. CM Its past, carved into the grayness of its flat surface is forever present. SD Perhaps, a stone is like a human life, constantly changing with the experiences of the past and the questions of the future. CM It is with the unexpected events of life that the stone is able to take shape, yet still holding its past deep down under its first layer. CM After each day, a stone is still a stone, and a human life is still a life, “only different and vastly heightened”. CS A past stays the same, perhaps with unsolved mysteries, but it is the past that makes a stone whole and a human life undivided.
TS Similarly to Rilke’s passage and the garden stone, transformation has been a big part of my childhood and the way I have lived the past fourteen years of my life. SD Part of me regrets the small moments from my past that I have ignored and unpleasantly complained about. CM The missed opportunities of friendships, the lack of involvement in a group activity or even the ignorance of a small blue bird on its branch, are times that I wished I could have lived better. CM Perhaps, if I had shown “avid interest” in what seemed like the most insignificant moments of all, I would not have missed so much. SD However, as much regret as I hold for a childhood not lived to its fullest, I have learned the importance of the things I have missed. CM I have been transformed through my mistakes and lack of appreciation for life. CM I am now able to live the small moments, as if it was the last time I would ever be able to live, as if these moments would never “return”. CS Perhaps one is meant to be transformed through their mistakes rather than stay unchanged through superiority(Antithesis).
Life is just a matter of how one changes as time passes. It is up to us to decide how we want to live. After all, we only have one life, with one past and one future ahead of us. A stone is just a stone, a smile is just a smile, but what makes all the difference, is the content of the inside layer of that stone and the heartfelt message beneath those shining white teeth.
_____________________________
Self Assessment
1) I am continuing to work on my blending of quotes. There was not a lot of blending to do this week, but I tried to make the quotes flow with the essay the best that I could.
2) Some strong points I see in this piece of writing is the organization. I feel as though this time, I tried extra hard to make every sentence and every word fit under the "umbrella".
3) Some weak points I see in this essay are sentence lengths and the lack of lengths variety. Some of my sentences could easily be broken down into smaller and perhaps, clearer sentences.
4) The grade I would give myself: A-
Anna Holt
May 19, 2009
Mr. Salsich
English 9
Carpe Diem:
A Passage, A Stone, and A Wish
Breath in. Feel air as it sinks into your body, warm spring air with the promise of summer lingering somewhere nearby. As you release this air, say goodbye. Bid a sweet farewell, for it will never return in the precise state. Similarly, a poem will never be read twice the same way. A garden rock will look different each time it is gazed upon no matter how stable it is. Time will not stand still. Embrace today.
A certain passage of Rainer Maria Rilke's speaks about the ever-changing world. However, it has an underlying theme of seizing the moment. As the old Latin scholars have taught us, Carpe Diem. Every opportunity, we must take, because as Rilke mentions, "life is transformation." It is constantly changing, and the opportunities we have one moment will be gone the next. Everything and anything we "encounter" is unique in itself, a beautiful oddity that we may never again have the honor of seeing. We must see everything as surreal, for time is fleeting. These beauties around us, these "things [that] sense our avid interest," are fleeting. Life will not wait for us to catch up on the things we have failed to acknowledge.
There are some things that seem to challenge this proactive view of living. At a glance, the garden stone that sits on Mr. Salsich's desk contradicts what Rilke is teaching in this passage. Solid and still, (appositive-opener) a rock is a dull constant that remains unfazed (FAST) by the changes in its environment. It is a perfect contradiction to Rilke's teachings that "life is transformation," because a rock is almost entirely unchanging. However, perhaps Rilke is trying to make the point that we are what is changing. To us, each moment is unique, whether or not our surroundings are stable. Perhaps the things around us will stay exactly as they are for all of eternity, but we will not. The garden stone will, technically, look the same every time we look at it. However, as we grow and gain insight, the rock will become something different. Perhaps one morning it will look like a weapon, and the next it will be, to us, a piece of art, and maybe one day it will turn into a simple beauty that nature has presented for our enjoyment. We will change. Time will change, and each moment is its own.
Rilke's message represents everything I wish to be. I wish to love time the way I love the most splendid attributes of my life. I wish to love each moment as if it were better than the last, to take advantage of a truly ever-changing world and live it all. Recently, I have been neglecting (FAST) these wishes. They have been forgotten in a rush of studies, a wave of energy, a storm of fear, and an overwhelming sensation of loss (Tetracoleon climax). Today, I pledge to re-construct these wishes and to enjoy my last three weeks at a place a call home. I will expand each moment to be worth just as much as it should be, for "the possibility of intensifying things so that they reveal their essence depends [...]on our participation." I will remember Rilke's words, knowing, as I make my way through these last few weeks, that today will never exist again.(Participle-closer) Every moment of emotion will be "vastly heightened" by appreciation. I will seize the day. (Purposeful Repitition- 'I will")
Whether it be in a poem, a garden stone, or perhaps an armature (FAST) high school essay, let something teach you this lesson: The world will continue to turn even as your life comes to a halt. The stars will still rise and the wind will still fall. Life will not love us tomorrow if we fail to recognize the things it offers today. (antithesis) Go now, away from this essay and away from your worries, I beg you. Another moment has just slipped by: Carpe Diem.
_______________________________________________
Self Assessment:
I really enjoyed writing this essay. I liked the topic and I think I did a good job making my point clear. I also like my repetition of "Carpe Diem," and i think it will leave an impression on the reader. I wish that I had paid more attention to the special tools before the last minute. I had some trouble finding a place for antithesis and also for tetracolon climax. I also think this essay might be a little repetitive and wish i had made it longer so that i could have expanded on my ideas in more specific ways. I also think that the second body paragraph lacks some grace and elegance. Perhaps this happened because i made such a big effort to clarify my thought. I would give myself an A- on this essay
May 19, 2009
Mr. Salsich
English 9
Carpe Diem:
A Passage, A Stone, and A Wish
Breath in. Feel air as it sinks into your body, warm spring air with the promise of summer lingering somewhere nearby. As you release this air, say goodbye. Bid a sweet farewell, for it will never return in the precise state. Similarly, a poem will never be read twice the same way. A garden rock will look different each time it is gazed upon no matter how stable it is. Time will not stand still. Embrace today.
A certain passage of Rainer Maria Rilke's speaks about the ever-changing world. However, it has an underlying theme of seizing the moment. As the old Latin scholars have taught us, Carpe Diem. Every opportunity, we must take, because as Rilke mentions, "life is transformation." It is constantly changing, and the opportunities we have one moment will be gone the next. Everything and anything we "encounter" is unique in itself, a beautiful oddity that we may never again have the honor of seeing. We must see everything as surreal, for time is fleeting. These beauties around us, these "things [that] sense our avid interest," are fleeting. Life will not wait for us to catch up on the things we have failed to acknowledge.
There are some things that seem to challenge this proactive view of living. At a glance, the garden stone that sits on Mr. Salsich's desk contradicts what Rilke is teaching in this passage. Solid and still, (appositive-opener) a rock is a dull constant that remains unfazed (FAST) by the changes in its environment. It is a perfect contradiction to Rilke's teachings that "life is transformation," because a rock is almost entirely unchanging. However, perhaps Rilke is trying to make the point that we are what is changing. To us, each moment is unique, whether or not our surroundings are stable. Perhaps the things around us will stay exactly as they are for all of eternity, but we will not. The garden stone will, technically, look the same every time we look at it. However, as we grow and gain insight, the rock will become something different. Perhaps one morning it will look like a weapon, and the next it will be, to us, a piece of art, and maybe one day it will turn into a simple beauty that nature has presented for our enjoyment. We will change. Time will change, and each moment is its own.
Rilke's message represents everything I wish to be. I wish to love time the way I love the most splendid attributes of my life. I wish to love each moment as if it were better than the last, to take advantage of a truly ever-changing world and live it all. Recently, I have been neglecting (FAST) these wishes. They have been forgotten in a rush of studies, a wave of energy, a storm of fear, and an overwhelming sensation of loss (Tetracoleon climax). Today, I pledge to re-construct these wishes and to enjoy my last three weeks at a place a call home. I will expand each moment to be worth just as much as it should be, for "the possibility of intensifying things so that they reveal their essence depends [...]on our participation." I will remember Rilke's words, knowing, as I make my way through these last few weeks, that today will never exist again.(Participle-closer) Every moment of emotion will be "vastly heightened" by appreciation. I will seize the day. (Purposeful Repitition- 'I will")
Whether it be in a poem, a garden stone, or perhaps an armature (FAST) high school essay, let something teach you this lesson: The world will continue to turn even as your life comes to a halt. The stars will still rise and the wind will still fall. Life will not love us tomorrow if we fail to recognize the things it offers today. (antithesis) Go now, away from this essay and away from your worries, I beg you. Another moment has just slipped by: Carpe Diem.
_______________________________________________
Self Assessment:
I really enjoyed writing this essay. I liked the topic and I think I did a good job making my point clear. I also like my repetition of "Carpe Diem," and i think it will leave an impression on the reader. I wish that I had paid more attention to the special tools before the last minute. I had some trouble finding a place for antithesis and also for tetracolon climax. I also think this essay might be a little repetitive and wish i had made it longer so that i could have expanded on my ideas in more specific ways. I also think that the second body paragraph lacks some grace and elegance. Perhaps this happened because i made such a big effort to clarify my thought. I would give myself an A- on this essay
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